Embarrassing Moments

If you ever get more than three blind people in one place it won't take long before the embarrassing stories start spilling forth.

The following such stories were told to me at various social events. Some people know I am writing these stories and, well, some of them came second and third hand. Thanks to all the blind people in these stories for having such adventuresome lives.

I live on a small lake. We often swim off our dock. Sometimes I swim alone and I always leave a playing radio on the end of my dock so I don't get disoriented. I found out from the person who told me this story that this is a common practice among blind people.

I am going to call the person who told me this story “Joe”. I promise you all the names are changed to protect the guilty. When Joe was a lot younger he and a blind friend were staying with Joe's parents in a cottage on a small lake. Late one night, when mom and dad were asleep, they decided it would be fun to go swimming without wearing swimming suits. They did not want to use the radio beacon for obvious reasons. Well, let's just say they should have used the radio. I will let you make up your own ending to this story.

This one actually happened to me.

I was staying in some big city hotel. This hotel used those wonderful new cards to open the hotel room doors. I have to assume that all the floors in the hotel looked exactly alike. At least they were all laid out the same. Maybe they used different color carpet or walls but this made no difference to me. I think I must have been tired. I got in the elevator at the lobby and pressed my button, or at least I thought I did. I got off and followed the usual path to my door. I made all the right turns and counted the lights that I had used for landmarks. I found my door and inserted the key.

The key did not open the door. But I knew I had at least three more card positions to try. By the time I slid the card in for the third time, the door opened. I don't know what language the guy who was screaming at me, was using but I don't think he was saying please come in. Actually I think it would have been scarier if he had been saying please come in.

Now I always notch the key card so I know how to insert it into the lock.

Another hotel adventure:

When you leave the room in the morning, the drapes are closed. When you return you turn on the light and get ready for bed. In the morning the sun is shining in your eyes. Now you realize the curtains were opened when you returned to your room. Don't panic, maybe your room is overlooking a field.

You are standing on the side of a road waiting for a friend to pick you up.

A car pulls up in front of you. You open the door and climb in. Now the terrified driver asks you what you are doing. He was just going to ask you directions. This is the last time he stops to ask stranger directions.

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